My reasons for not living in Mexico

"6 things that made me realize that I couldn't live in Mexico permanently"
by Robert B.

A little bit about myself. I was born in the United States, and apart from spending 2/3 of my life there, I have lived in Canada, England, and Poland. I came to Mexico about a year ago and will be leaving in about a month. I speak Spanish very well, and most of my friends and people I hang out with on a daily basis are Mexican. The reasons I outline here are personal. You have the right not to agree with any of these, or to deem them unimportant, but if you are considering moving/living here permanently, I think it's important that you at least read this article. I actually like Mexico quite a bit. I think it's a great country to visit, even for an extended holiday. It's natural beauty, cities, people, and attractions make it a great place to spend some time. With some notable exceptions, it is one of the safest countries that I've been to - it's true! That said, I would not want to live here permanently, and I wrote this to share some of my reasons. The first reason is really the main reason why I couldn't live in Mexico. The others, less so.

1) The not so great treatment of pets/animals

When I first arrived in Mexico, one of my Mexican friends told me that many of his compatriots joke about how Americans, Canadians, and Europeans go overboard in their love and respect for pets... that sometimes we treat pets better than we do humans. This might be true, but after living in Mexico for some time, I realize that this isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Most people realize that there are tons of stray dogs (and cats) all over Mexico. This is a phenomenon that exists in most areas of abject poverty all over the world - not only in Mexico. These animals are not treated badly, per se, and they are even fed by some people. For the most part, however, the suffering of these animals is simply ignored. You don't see the same "Look at that poor dog! He must be suffering! Let's help him!" type of reaction many people north of the border are accustomed to. We were in Veracruz, and a poor, sick dog (obviously suffering) was lying outside a restaurant. Everyone was just eating, not even paying a bit of attention to him. I'm not one to judge why there's a lack of compassion for the suffering of animals living on the street, but this lack of compassion does exist and is pretty obvious.

Rich and middle class families often do get family pets, and treat them fairly well, but from what I've seen, the treatment that the animals receive in these types of families is still not as good as in other countries I've lived in coutries with a higher level of consciousness about animals. The whole "animals are living beings just like us and should be respected on equal terms" just hasn't hit home yet. The "it's just a dog" or "it's just a cat" mentality still holds strong, even among the upper-middle and upper class pet owners, who basically like to show off how expensive their dogs or cats are, and very seldomly adopt (or even buy) them out of love. Animals are often given away because they make too much noise, are inconvenient, or for other reasons I personally find incomprehensible. Generally speaking, people just don't get attached to their pets too much. They are seldom considered to be "part of the family".

2) Freedom! (to make noise)

Before I came to Mexico, a journalist whose blog I often read commented that Mexico is the "freest country" that he's been to. I didn't quite know what he meant at the time, though I think that now I do.

Mexican people will generally not get into your business. With a few exceptions, I have found Mexicans to be the most non-confrontational people on the planet. Sometimes painfully so. And apart from a few exceptions, government also has this type of attitude - laissez faire. Don't get involved. Live and let live. On paper, the concept is nice enough, except for when you would LIKE someone to get involved, like, for instance when one of your neighbors is making too much noise.

Now, I've had noisy neighbors in other countries I've lived in, and usually the situation could be remedied in one of three ways: 1) The copout. Wait it out until someone else complains, 2) Go talk to the person and tell them they're being unreasonably loud, and 3) call the proper authorities to make a noise complaint - sooner or later they will show up. In Mexico, number one doesn't even factor into the equation. NOONE will complain about noise here. You can have a party blasting until 5:00 AM in an apartment building, a rooftop, etc. and none of the neighbors will say a thing. Why not? Well, I've been trying to figure that one out too, but I think it's a mixture of most people's super-high threshold and acceptance of noise and general loudness, the above-mentioned non-confrontational nature of the general populace, and a lack of recourse. If you go and talk to the people making noise, they will probably be nice, but will generally look at you like you were some kind of freak. Why? Because, they would be freaked out that someone actually complained. Like I said, people just ride it out here. Most people don't care about noise. The third part is very important as well. There have been parties in my neighborhood until 4, 5, 6, even 7 in the morning. I have never seen the police or anyone else for that matter come and break anything up - it just doesn't happen. I asked some friends about who to call when there's a loud party next door and none of them could tell me. No recourse. If you're a tourist, it's different - You can call the reception desk at a hotel, and they will try to fix the problem, but if you're living here, it's a different story. So, if you're in Mexico, and someone decides to throw a wild, all-nighter of a party... Save yourself the trouble, and don't even try to stop it. Just ride it out calmly like most Mexicans do.

3) Being a pedestrian.

Not having a car and being a pedestrian in Mexico is OK at first, but gets extremely irritating over the course of time. I live in Guadalajara, but I've seen this in other cities around Mexico. At first it's kind of funny how the "pedestrian's right of way" is almost non-existent as a concept, how pedestrians nearly always let cars pass first on a green light before crossing, how little most drivers respect or even see pedestrians, even on pedestrian crossings (sometimes it seems noone even knows what they're for)... After a couple of months, however, the novelty wears off, and (in the big cities anyway) you're just left with a very stressful experience whenever you try to step into an intersection with the simple intent of crossing to the other side. Really, it might seem like an insignificant little detail, but it is really irritating and nerve-racking sometimes. To be fair, some drivers are kind enough to wave you through (when you have the right of way :) Apart from the dangers of crossing a big-city street, one has to remember that being a pedestrian in Mexico involves 2 other "wonderfully colorful" aspects of mexican culture: 1) taking the scarily reckless city buses and 2) taking taxis, which, alas, still often involves haggling and an inevitable attempt to somehow cheat you out of your money.

4) Promiscuity.

Mexico is still a very macho culture. It is also, in my opinion, the most promiscuous culture I have lived in. Some of you may take issue with this, but once again, I'm just speaking from my experience. Most of the people I know here in Mexico are in the 25-35 range, some a bit older. I'm no saint, but I sure seem like one when it comes to most Mexican guys my age. Most of the guys I know have nothing against "cheating" on their wives or girlfriends. The girlfriends/lovers that someone has on the side are discussed openly (amongst friends, not their partners) for the simple reason that cheating is not frowned upon at all. I don't consider my circle of friends to be particularly decadent, or out of the norm, but most guys I know have cheated on their girlfriends and have had absolutely no moral dilemma about this. I know guys that have 3,4 lovers on the side. I think that, as a rule, as far as guys are concerned, screwing around on your partner happens much more often in Mexico, and is accepted to a far greater extent than in other places I have lived. As far as girls are concerned... all I can say is that it takes two to tango. Also, many girls in Mexico try to play themselves off as super-moral (partly because the still predominately macho society imposes this double standard on them - "he can but she can't"), but in reality many who pretend to be the "good-girl" are far from it. Now, I know some very moral people in Mexico, but I'm talking about general trends here, and the general trend among the people I know is as I've described it.

5) Drunk driving

Hey, are you having problems keeping sober? Can't resist that undeniable urge to get behind the wheel after a wild night of drinking? Mexico's the place for you! Sad, I know, but true. Drinking and driving, and I mean getting pissed drunk and then driving, is way too common here. I don't know anyone who doesn't do it. In fact, the 2 things that I have almost never heard here in Mexico are: "I am faithful to my girlfriend" and "I better take a taxi, I'm too drunk". I know it sounds like a bad joke from the 70's but it's the Mexican reality. Are the people I know so damned irresponsible? Well, not in other aspects of their lives, but in this, I would say yes, very irresponsible. Part of the problem lies in the fact that for the most part, you can be pissed drunk, get stopped by the cops, pay them off, and be on your merry way. This is not a myth - it happens every day. Drunk drivers get stopped, pay a nominal amount (sometimes as little as 10 dollars) and are let go, drunk, on their way home. In fact, I've heard stories about how cops would escort the drunk person home, stopping for tacos along the way.

6) Unreliability
this reason i'm not too sure about anymore, - it's an annoyance, but now that i think about it a bit more, i don't think it would constitute a reason not to live in mexico
Promises, promises. Again, I'm going to generalize here a bit, but the generalization is based on repeated experiences. My Mexican friends are good hearted people. They promise a lot of things. "Tomorrow I'll take you to..." "In a couple of weeks let's go to...." etc etc. You tell someone that you really want to do something and inevitably you'll hear an enthusiastic "Let's do it!" Well, many of these promises/plans never come to fruition. Mexicans generally don't want to come off badly, so they'll tell you things that sound good at the moment to make you feel like anything is possible... but the follow through often just isn't there. If someone tells you "I'm going to be there at 7, count on it, you better believe it", there's a good chance they won't be there. They'll tell you they will to not be perceived badly, but when it's crunch time, they'll be absent. Likewise, Mexicans are notorious for giving directions when they don't really know where something is. If you stop someone on the street and ask "Where's Calle ***", a lot of people will give you "directions" even when they don't really know. Again, they don't want to come off badly. What people don't seem to realize is that the disillusionment of realizing that all these promises, directions, etc. were just BS is much more damaging to one's reputation than being honest, even if the truth is dull or disappointing. Something it's best just to keep quiet instead of making someone think they're getting something when in fact they're not.