In the interest of not making this blog too one-sided, here are 6 reasons why I enjoyed living in Mexico (temporarily):
1) The ease of getting things done.
I could not live in Mexico permanently. Many of you know that already. But I do recognize the pluses that this country has to offer. One of the main pluses for me, especially after having lived in hyper-beaurocratic Eastern Europe for three years beforehand, is the ease with which one can arrange things here. It really is a laid-back culture in a lot of ways. Being a tourist (not a resident), I was able to rent an apartment in Guadalajara (I just had to pay a 2 month deposit instead of a 1 month deposit), to get phone service, and to get cable TV... This would not have been so easy in either Europe or the US. In fact, it would be close to impossible. Although many people complain that Mexico can be a beaurocratic nightmare, I have always had quite an easy time getting stuff done here.
2) The food.
I'm a vegetarian, and I was surprised at how many options there are for vegetarians in Mexico. I'm not sure how easy it would be for vegans (harder, I assume), but lacto-ovo vegetarians will find a lot of options in this country, especially in the big cities. Apart from delicious options from outdoor food stands and small eateries (quesadillas, tacos [there are usually 2 or 3 veggie options], lonches de panela, fruit and vegetable cups, pastes, etc.), there are also a lot of vegetarian restaurants. The two that I've been to are in Puebla and Mexico City (the latter had a live piano player) - A three course meal with unlimited agua fresca refills will set you back about 4 dollars. As with any place in the third world, you might get sick in the first couple of days/weeks if you're not careful... I got sick twice in the year I've been here... but, for the most part, I have found the food to be quite good.
3) The kindness of the people.
While I stick to all the stuff I've said about why I wouldn't live in Mexico permanently, it's definitely NOT because the people aren't kind. I have found Mexicans to be very kind, especially the "simple" people. They are very appreciative of foreigners who try to speak Spanish, and will, for the most part, try to help you as much as they can. Unfortunately, I have met a lot of fresas (rich, spoiled kids from wealthy homes), who display some of the same obnoxious qualities as spoiled, rich kids in any other culture, maybe even more so. But, for the most part, I'd have to give a big thumbs up to the openness and friendliness of Mexicans.
4)Natural beauty.
Mexico is a very beautiful country. From the beaches (well, not the touristy ones, I'm talking more like Michoacan, etc.), to the mountains, to the deserts and the jungles, you will be awed by the natural beauty. It is also an extremely diverse country. I definitely suggest you travel by car. That way you can see all the cool, hidden places that might not be accessible by public transportation. Traveling in Mexico is not as dangerous as in some other countries, no matter what the media says, but when traveling in remote areas anywhere in the developing world, it's best to exercise caution.
5)The prices.
Not everything in Mexico is cheap. A lot of people come here thinking they can live like kings on $3 a day... not so. But, having said that, you can get two or three times the bang for your buck here (if you play your cards right). I have been renting a place for 4000 pesos a month here in central Guadalajara, very close to avenida Chapultepec, a very desirable neighborhood (though not THE most desireable by far). That's about $300. I pay about 13 dollars every 2 months for my electricity, and about 20 dollars every three months for gas (cylinder refill). In Europe I was paying three times that (for everything). In Los Angeles, the same apartment would easily go for $1,500 per month. Food is cheap too. Well, not everything. In supermarkets one can expect to pay about the same as in the US, sometimes more for household items, electronics, etc. If you buy your produce from a fruit and veggie market, however, it's much cheaper. Street food is cheap - about 5 pesos for a taco, 15-20 for a torta/lonche, etc.
6) The ease of hanging out with friends.
I found it much easier to get together with people one knows here than in other places I've lived in. If you already have a group of friends in Mexico, chances are people will get together once or twice a week, sometimes more often, to drink, party, etc. In Los Angeles, and in Europe as well, it's hard to get people to meet up with such ease, - everyone is always busy, too tired, etc. Here, one's friends seem to always want to get in touch with you to see what you're doing if you're going to pop by, etc.
Anyway that's about it for now. I don't think I'll be adding any more posts. I've said all that I have to say. I hope that with this last post, I have evened out my experiences in Mexico, and have not presented the country, or my experiences therein in too much of a one-dimensional light. To conclude - I would definitely recommend a visit Mexico to everyone. It's a fascinating country (both the good and the bad) that is definitely worth exploring and getting to know.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Something positive (well kind of)
I like foreigners that try to promote a socially conscious way of living in Mexico. The kind that don't blindly praise Mexico for making their retirement paychecks go a little further, but ones that actually get up off their asses, realize that there's work to be done, and try to make a difference.
I have tried to do that here, and have succeeded, in my own little way. I won't go into the details because I don't like to brag.
The typical gringo, however, me caga. For real. The "It's-so-warm-and-purty-and-cheap-here-and-the-payple-are-so-nice" crowd. I think it's important to be proactive, especially in a country such as Mexico, where the social-consciousness does lag behind that of countries in the developed world, no matter what some "my-mexican-fantasy" blog might tell you.
So just put down that Corona and do something to improve the situation to make this a better place of everyone.
I have tried to do that here, and have succeeded, in my own little way. I won't go into the details because I don't like to brag.
The typical gringo, however, me caga. For real. The "It's-so-warm-and-purty-and-cheap-here-and-the-payple-are-so-nice" crowd. I think it's important to be proactive, especially in a country such as Mexico, where the social-consciousness does lag behind that of countries in the developed world, no matter what some "my-mexican-fantasy" blog might tell you.
So just put down that Corona and do something to improve the situation to make this a better place of everyone.
response to "the mex files" blog's response to my article
http://mexfiles.net/2009/08/28/call-and-response/ - The person responsible for the "Mex Files" blog recently responded to my reasons for not wanting to stay in Mexico permanently. He came up with his own 6 reasons why he loves living in Mexico so much. I guess I must have touched a nerve. I thought it would be fun to respond to his reasons for "loving to live in Mexico". The bolded parts are my responses.
1) Treatment of humans. This situation is changing for the worse, with the imposition of the U.S. backed “war on drugs”, but for the most part, “Respect for the rights of others,” is more than a dusty phrase from history. From the euphemistic name for penitentiaries (”Centers for Social Readaption”) to workers’ cooperative savings institutions like the tandas, the Mexicans treat their fellow man (and woman) as fully functional human beings, worthy of respect and expecting them to uphold the honor and dignity of their fellow persons.
Sure, it's all the USA's fault. The "situation getting worse" has nothing to do with the rife corruption on pretty much all levels of Mexican society, the impotence of the military, and the stronghold that narcos have on the country ;) With all due respect, your take on the "treatment of humans" in Mexico sounds like something Calderon's government might cook-up right before the elections in order to fool the masses that their lives are, in fact, great.
2) A joyful Noise. Mexico is, without question, a noisy country, though less so than many. People accept the rights of their neighbors to enjoy their lives, and unlike the United States, do no consider it an assault that others are happy, singing or playing cards late a night.
There are plenty of people who don't consider noise to be "joyful". For these types of people, Mexico is definitely not paradise. And I'm not talking about playing dominos or cards or talking - more about all night parties with screaming, yelling, and speakers blasting til 6 AM. If you've never experienced that... good for you. I have. Repeatedly.
3) Being a pedestrian. One does not need an automobile, and the commercial culture is built on a human scale. When a foreign (U.S.) builder developed a housing subdivision outside Mexico City a few years ago, the lack of commercial and social activities nearly destroyed the development. Go into any colonia anywhere in Mexico, and you find not only private businesses, but a church and schools. This is planning for the human, not the car.
Again, sounds like information from a PAN poster sugar-coating Mexican reality before an election. Yes, there is more of an infrastructure in terms of buses, subway, etc. in Mexico, but the quality of the infrastructure, and the conditions in which one has to travel is horrible (apart from the long-distance buses which are great). And, I still stand by the fact that one puts one's life at risk crossing any big street in Guadalajara, even on a green light. Apart from that, most modern Mexican suburbs are as car-centric as their US counterparts... And that's just a fact.
4) Sexual honesty. One needs to mention that the Mexican constitution guarantees equality before the law regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Sexism and homophobia certainly exist, but as a social contract, it’s much further than the United States can muster. One’s sexuality is largely one’s own affair (”the rights of others,” again) and — given the lip service paid to “fidelity” in the United States — land of serial monogamy — at least no one is pretending. In the United States we pretend porn is not one of the nation’s largest industries. In Mexico, you can buy porn in front of the Palacio Nacional at any newsstand, and no one says boo about it.
"Young" Mexico, in my humble opinion, is a culture of cheating. I don't know how things are amongst other age groups, but in my age group, there is a lot of promiscuity. You can explain it away all you like, but that's my experience. Sexual honesty? Why, then, do most of my male friends never admit that they're banging two or three girls on the side to their girlfriends? Where's the sexual honesty? As for porn, I have no problem with that, although since I'm not a porn addict, I don't think it should be available on "any newstand". Also, before you go quoting the Mexican constitution, keep in mind what my friend Diego told me recently: "The Mexican constitution is the most violated document in the world."
5) Driving. On my way down to Mazatlan from west Texas, my old Volvo started to die. Outside Ojinaga, a guy named Chito stopped in his “held together with baling wire and spit” Toyota pickup… couldn’t figure out the problem, went home, got his brother’s big truck, came back, towed me into Ojinaga, then took me to a motel… and the next morning came to get me, took me to his mom’s house for breakfast, then to his cousin Martin’s who had made a part out of an old Ford truck to get the car running again… for about 30 USD. The Volvo has since “disappeared” — by my choice — and I travel by bus. Something neither shameful nor unusual in this country, nor the hellish experience it is in the United States when one must leave the driving to someone else.
I never said that Mexican people are not helpful. In fact, they are some of the nicest, most helpful peple I have met. Next...
6) Reliability. I can rely on walking into a shop, market, restaurant and not being shot by a crazed junkie. I can walk down almost any street in Mexico, day or night, and — if this 50+ year old middle-class guy sees a bunch of teenage boys hanging out — has no need to cross the street. I can rely on a polite and respectful “buenos noches, Senor”, not a whap up the side of the head. I can rely on alternatives being found for inconveniences. I can rely — if I remember my manners — on people remembering their, and treating me with respect and dignity.
What you describe happens in gated neighborhoods/compounds, in beach-towns where "Gringos are sacred" because of the money they spend, and in small towns. I don't live in any of those. Of course, generally speaking, there is much less of the type of crime that exists in the US... but you'd have to be super-naive to think that this type of thing doesn't happen in Mexico. There are parts of Guadalajara, DF, and other cities that one just doesn't go to, whether one be Mexican, American, Japanese, or Greek. Come to Guadalajara and I'll show you some crazed junkies that might, in fact, rob you just like they would in the US.
If you would like to see the real Mexican reality, as presented by socially-conscious Mexicans, check out this video (warning: it's in Spanish)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIK-NR5nSnQ
Happy listening.
1) Treatment of humans. This situation is changing for the worse, with the imposition of the U.S. backed “war on drugs”, but for the most part, “Respect for the rights of others,” is more than a dusty phrase from history. From the euphemistic name for penitentiaries (”Centers for Social Readaption”) to workers’ cooperative savings institutions like the tandas, the Mexicans treat their fellow man (and woman) as fully functional human beings, worthy of respect and expecting them to uphold the honor and dignity of their fellow persons.
Sure, it's all the USA's fault. The "situation getting worse" has nothing to do with the rife corruption on pretty much all levels of Mexican society, the impotence of the military, and the stronghold that narcos have on the country ;) With all due respect, your take on the "treatment of humans" in Mexico sounds like something Calderon's government might cook-up right before the elections in order to fool the masses that their lives are, in fact, great.
2) A joyful Noise. Mexico is, without question, a noisy country, though less so than many. People accept the rights of their neighbors to enjoy their lives, and unlike the United States, do no consider it an assault that others are happy, singing or playing cards late a night.
There are plenty of people who don't consider noise to be "joyful". For these types of people, Mexico is definitely not paradise. And I'm not talking about playing dominos or cards or talking - more about all night parties with screaming, yelling, and speakers blasting til 6 AM. If you've never experienced that... good for you. I have. Repeatedly.
3) Being a pedestrian. One does not need an automobile, and the commercial culture is built on a human scale. When a foreign (U.S.) builder developed a housing subdivision outside Mexico City a few years ago, the lack of commercial and social activities nearly destroyed the development. Go into any colonia anywhere in Mexico, and you find not only private businesses, but a church and schools. This is planning for the human, not the car.
Again, sounds like information from a PAN poster sugar-coating Mexican reality before an election. Yes, there is more of an infrastructure in terms of buses, subway, etc. in Mexico, but the quality of the infrastructure, and the conditions in which one has to travel is horrible (apart from the long-distance buses which are great). And, I still stand by the fact that one puts one's life at risk crossing any big street in Guadalajara, even on a green light. Apart from that, most modern Mexican suburbs are as car-centric as their US counterparts... And that's just a fact.
4) Sexual honesty. One needs to mention that the Mexican constitution guarantees equality before the law regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Sexism and homophobia certainly exist, but as a social contract, it’s much further than the United States can muster. One’s sexuality is largely one’s own affair (”the rights of others,” again) and — given the lip service paid to “fidelity” in the United States — land of serial monogamy — at least no one is pretending. In the United States we pretend porn is not one of the nation’s largest industries. In Mexico, you can buy porn in front of the Palacio Nacional at any newsstand, and no one says boo about it.
"Young" Mexico, in my humble opinion, is a culture of cheating. I don't know how things are amongst other age groups, but in my age group, there is a lot of promiscuity. You can explain it away all you like, but that's my experience. Sexual honesty? Why, then, do most of my male friends never admit that they're banging two or three girls on the side to their girlfriends? Where's the sexual honesty? As for porn, I have no problem with that, although since I'm not a porn addict, I don't think it should be available on "any newstand". Also, before you go quoting the Mexican constitution, keep in mind what my friend Diego told me recently: "The Mexican constitution is the most violated document in the world."
5) Driving. On my way down to Mazatlan from west Texas, my old Volvo started to die. Outside Ojinaga, a guy named Chito stopped in his “held together with baling wire and spit” Toyota pickup… couldn’t figure out the problem, went home, got his brother’s big truck, came back, towed me into Ojinaga, then took me to a motel… and the next morning came to get me, took me to his mom’s house for breakfast, then to his cousin Martin’s who had made a part out of an old Ford truck to get the car running again… for about 30 USD. The Volvo has since “disappeared” — by my choice — and I travel by bus. Something neither shameful nor unusual in this country, nor the hellish experience it is in the United States when one must leave the driving to someone else.
I never said that Mexican people are not helpful. In fact, they are some of the nicest, most helpful peple I have met. Next...
6) Reliability. I can rely on walking into a shop, market, restaurant and not being shot by a crazed junkie. I can walk down almost any street in Mexico, day or night, and — if this 50+ year old middle-class guy sees a bunch of teenage boys hanging out — has no need to cross the street. I can rely on a polite and respectful “buenos noches, Senor”, not a whap up the side of the head. I can rely on alternatives being found for inconveniences. I can rely — if I remember my manners — on people remembering their, and treating me with respect and dignity.
What you describe happens in gated neighborhoods/compounds, in beach-towns where "Gringos are sacred" because of the money they spend, and in small towns. I don't live in any of those. Of course, generally speaking, there is much less of the type of crime that exists in the US... but you'd have to be super-naive to think that this type of thing doesn't happen in Mexico. There are parts of Guadalajara, DF, and other cities that one just doesn't go to, whether one be Mexican, American, Japanese, or Greek. Come to Guadalajara and I'll show you some crazed junkies that might, in fact, rob you just like they would in the US.
If you would like to see the real Mexican reality, as presented by socially-conscious Mexicans, check out this video (warning: it's in Spanish)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIK-NR5nSnQ
Happy listening.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
My reasons for not living in Mexico
"6 things that made me realize that I couldn't live in Mexico permanently"
by Robert B.
A little bit about myself. I was born in the United States, and apart from spending 2/3 of my life there, I have lived in Canada, England, and Poland. I came to Mexico about a year ago and will be leaving in about a month. I speak Spanish very well, and most of my friends and people I hang out with on a daily basis are Mexican. The reasons I outline here are personal. You have the right not to agree with any of these, or to deem them unimportant, but if you are considering moving/living here permanently, I think it's important that you at least read this article. I actually like Mexico quite a bit. I think it's a great country to visit, even for an extended holiday. It's natural beauty, cities, people, and attractions make it a great place to spend some time. With some notable exceptions, it is one of the safest countries that I've been to - it's true! That said, I would not want to live here permanently, and I wrote this to share some of my reasons. The first reason is really the main reason why I couldn't live in Mexico. The others, less so.
1) The not so great treatment of pets/animals
When I first arrived in Mexico, one of my Mexican friends told me that many of his compatriots joke about how Americans, Canadians, and Europeans go overboard in their love and respect for pets... that sometimes we treat pets better than we do humans. This might be true, but after living in Mexico for some time, I realize that this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Most people realize that there are tons of stray dogs (and cats) all over Mexico. This is a phenomenon that exists in most areas of abject poverty all over the world - not only in Mexico. These animals are not treated badly, per se, and they are even fed by some people. For the most part, however, the suffering of these animals is simply ignored. You don't see the same "Look at that poor dog! He must be suffering! Let's help him!" type of reaction many people north of the border are accustomed to. We were in Veracruz, and a poor, sick dog (obviously suffering) was lying outside a restaurant. Everyone was just eating, not even paying a bit of attention to him. I'm not one to judge why there's a lack of compassion for the suffering of animals living on the street, but this lack of compassion does exist and is pretty obvious.
Rich and middle class families often do get family pets, and treat them fairly well, but from what I've seen, the treatment that the animals receive in these types of families is still not as good as in other countries I've lived in coutries with a higher level of consciousness about animals. The whole "animals are living beings just like us and should be respected on equal terms" just hasn't hit home yet. The "it's just a dog" or "it's just a cat" mentality still holds strong, even among the upper-middle and upper class pet owners, who basically like to show off how expensive their dogs or cats are, and very seldomly adopt (or even buy) them out of love. Animals are often given away because they make too much noise, are inconvenient, or for other reasons I personally find incomprehensible. Generally speaking, people just don't get attached to their pets too much. They are seldom considered to be "part of the family".
2) Freedom! (to make noise)
Before I came to Mexico, a journalist whose blog I often read commented that Mexico is the "freest country" that he's been to. I didn't quite know what he meant at the time, though I think that now I do.
Mexican people will generally not get into your business. With a few exceptions, I have found Mexicans to be the most non-confrontational people on the planet. Sometimes painfully so. And apart from a few exceptions, government also has this type of attitude - laissez faire. Don't get involved. Live and let live. On paper, the concept is nice enough, except for when you would LIKE someone to get involved, like, for instance when one of your neighbors is making too much noise.
Now, I've had noisy neighbors in other countries I've lived in, and usually the situation could be remedied in one of three ways: 1) The copout. Wait it out until someone else complains, 2) Go talk to the person and tell them they're being unreasonably loud, and 3) call the proper authorities to make a noise complaint - sooner or later they will show up. In Mexico, number one doesn't even factor into the equation. NOONE will complain about noise here. You can have a party blasting until 5:00 AM in an apartment building, a rooftop, etc. and none of the neighbors will say a thing. Why not? Well, I've been trying to figure that one out too, but I think it's a mixture of most people's super-high threshold and acceptance of noise and general loudness, the above-mentioned non-confrontational nature of the general populace, and a lack of recourse. If you go and talk to the people making noise, they will probably be nice, but will generally look at you like you were some kind of freak. Why? Because, they would be freaked out that someone actually complained. Like I said, people just ride it out here. Most people don't care about noise. The third part is very important as well. There have been parties in my neighborhood until 4, 5, 6, even 7 in the morning. I have never seen the police or anyone else for that matter come and break anything up - it just doesn't happen. I asked some friends about who to call when there's a loud party next door and none of them could tell me. No recourse. If you're a tourist, it's different - You can call the reception desk at a hotel, and they will try to fix the problem, but if you're living here, it's a different story. So, if you're in Mexico, and someone decides to throw a wild, all-nighter of a party... Save yourself the trouble, and don't even try to stop it. Just ride it out calmly like most Mexicans do.
3) Being a pedestrian.
Not having a car and being a pedestrian in Mexico is OK at first, but gets extremely irritating over the course of time. I live in Guadalajara, but I've seen this in other cities around Mexico. At first it's kind of funny how the "pedestrian's right of way" is almost non-existent as a concept, how pedestrians nearly always let cars pass first on a green light before crossing, how little most drivers respect or even see pedestrians, even on pedestrian crossings (sometimes it seems noone even knows what they're for)... After a couple of months, however, the novelty wears off, and (in the big cities anyway) you're just left with a very stressful experience whenever you try to step into an intersection with the simple intent of crossing to the other side. Really, it might seem like an insignificant little detail, but it is really irritating and nerve-racking sometimes. To be fair, some drivers are kind enough to wave you through (when you have the right of way :) Apart from the dangers of crossing a big-city street, one has to remember that being a pedestrian in Mexico involves 2 other "wonderfully colorful" aspects of mexican culture: 1) taking the scarily reckless city buses and 2) taking taxis, which, alas, still often involves haggling and an inevitable attempt to somehow cheat you out of your money.
4) Promiscuity.
Mexico is still a very macho culture. It is also, in my opinion, the most promiscuous culture I have lived in. Some of you may take issue with this, but once again, I'm just speaking from my experience. Most of the people I know here in Mexico are in the 25-35 range, some a bit older. I'm no saint, but I sure seem like one when it comes to most Mexican guys my age. Most of the guys I know have nothing against "cheating" on their wives or girlfriends. The girlfriends/lovers that someone has on the side are discussed openly (amongst friends, not their partners) for the simple reason that cheating is not frowned upon at all. I don't consider my circle of friends to be particularly decadent, or out of the norm, but most guys I know have cheated on their girlfriends and have had absolutely no moral dilemma about this. I know guys that have 3,4 lovers on the side. I think that, as a rule, as far as guys are concerned, screwing around on your partner happens much more often in Mexico, and is accepted to a far greater extent than in other places I have lived. As far as girls are concerned... all I can say is that it takes two to tango. Also, many girls in Mexico try to play themselves off as super-moral (partly because the still predominately macho society imposes this double standard on them - "he can but she can't"), but in reality many who pretend to be the "good-girl" are far from it. Now, I know some very moral people in Mexico, but I'm talking about general trends here, and the general trend among the people I know is as I've described it.
5) Drunk driving
Hey, are you having problems keeping sober? Can't resist that undeniable urge to get behind the wheel after a wild night of drinking? Mexico's the place for you! Sad, I know, but true. Drinking and driving, and I mean getting pissed drunk and then driving, is way too common here. I don't know anyone who doesn't do it. In fact, the 2 things that I have almost never heard here in Mexico are: "I am faithful to my girlfriend" and "I better take a taxi, I'm too drunk". I know it sounds like a bad joke from the 70's but it's the Mexican reality. Are the people I know so damned irresponsible? Well, not in other aspects of their lives, but in this, I would say yes, very irresponsible. Part of the problem lies in the fact that for the most part, you can be pissed drunk, get stopped by the cops, pay them off, and be on your merry way. This is not a myth - it happens every day. Drunk drivers get stopped, pay a nominal amount (sometimes as little as 10 dollars) and are let go, drunk, on their way home. In fact, I've heard stories about how cops would escort the drunk person home, stopping for tacos along the way.
6) Unreliability
this reason i'm not too sure about anymore, - it's an annoyance, but now that i think about it a bit more, i don't think it would constitute a reason not to live in mexico
Promises, promises. Again, I'm going to generalize here a bit, but the generalization is based on repeated experiences. My Mexican friends are good hearted people. They promise a lot of things. "Tomorrow I'll take you to..." "In a couple of weeks let's go to...." etc etc. You tell someone that you really want to do something and inevitably you'll hear an enthusiastic "Let's do it!" Well, many of these promises/plans never come to fruition. Mexicans generally don't want to come off badly, so they'll tell you things that sound good at the moment to make you feel like anything is possible... but the follow through often just isn't there. If someone tells you "I'm going to be there at 7, count on it, you better believe it", there's a good chance they won't be there. They'll tell you they will to not be perceived badly, but when it's crunch time, they'll be absent. Likewise, Mexicans are notorious for giving directions when they don't really know where something is. If you stop someone on the street and ask "Where's Calle ***", a lot of people will give you "directions" even when they don't really know. Again, they don't want to come off badly. What people don't seem to realize is that the disillusionment of realizing that all these promises, directions, etc. were just BS is much more damaging to one's reputation than being honest, even if the truth is dull or disappointing. Something it's best just to keep quiet instead of making someone think they're getting something when in fact they're not.
by Robert B.
A little bit about myself. I was born in the United States, and apart from spending 2/3 of my life there, I have lived in Canada, England, and Poland. I came to Mexico about a year ago and will be leaving in about a month. I speak Spanish very well, and most of my friends and people I hang out with on a daily basis are Mexican. The reasons I outline here are personal. You have the right not to agree with any of these, or to deem them unimportant, but if you are considering moving/living here permanently, I think it's important that you at least read this article. I actually like Mexico quite a bit. I think it's a great country to visit, even for an extended holiday. It's natural beauty, cities, people, and attractions make it a great place to spend some time. With some notable exceptions, it is one of the safest countries that I've been to - it's true! That said, I would not want to live here permanently, and I wrote this to share some of my reasons. The first reason is really the main reason why I couldn't live in Mexico. The others, less so.
1) The not so great treatment of pets/animals
When I first arrived in Mexico, one of my Mexican friends told me that many of his compatriots joke about how Americans, Canadians, and Europeans go overboard in their love and respect for pets... that sometimes we treat pets better than we do humans. This might be true, but after living in Mexico for some time, I realize that this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Most people realize that there are tons of stray dogs (and cats) all over Mexico. This is a phenomenon that exists in most areas of abject poverty all over the world - not only in Mexico. These animals are not treated badly, per se, and they are even fed by some people. For the most part, however, the suffering of these animals is simply ignored. You don't see the same "Look at that poor dog! He must be suffering! Let's help him!" type of reaction many people north of the border are accustomed to. We were in Veracruz, and a poor, sick dog (obviously suffering) was lying outside a restaurant. Everyone was just eating, not even paying a bit of attention to him. I'm not one to judge why there's a lack of compassion for the suffering of animals living on the street, but this lack of compassion does exist and is pretty obvious.
Rich and middle class families often do get family pets, and treat them fairly well, but from what I've seen, the treatment that the animals receive in these types of families is still not as good as in other countries I've lived in coutries with a higher level of consciousness about animals. The whole "animals are living beings just like us and should be respected on equal terms" just hasn't hit home yet. The "it's just a dog" or "it's just a cat" mentality still holds strong, even among the upper-middle and upper class pet owners, who basically like to show off how expensive their dogs or cats are, and very seldomly adopt (or even buy) them out of love. Animals are often given away because they make too much noise, are inconvenient, or for other reasons I personally find incomprehensible. Generally speaking, people just don't get attached to their pets too much. They are seldom considered to be "part of the family".
2) Freedom! (to make noise)
Before I came to Mexico, a journalist whose blog I often read commented that Mexico is the "freest country" that he's been to. I didn't quite know what he meant at the time, though I think that now I do.
Mexican people will generally not get into your business. With a few exceptions, I have found Mexicans to be the most non-confrontational people on the planet. Sometimes painfully so. And apart from a few exceptions, government also has this type of attitude - laissez faire. Don't get involved. Live and let live. On paper, the concept is nice enough, except for when you would LIKE someone to get involved, like, for instance when one of your neighbors is making too much noise.
Now, I've had noisy neighbors in other countries I've lived in, and usually the situation could be remedied in one of three ways: 1) The copout. Wait it out until someone else complains, 2) Go talk to the person and tell them they're being unreasonably loud, and 3) call the proper authorities to make a noise complaint - sooner or later they will show up. In Mexico, number one doesn't even factor into the equation. NOONE will complain about noise here. You can have a party blasting until 5:00 AM in an apartment building, a rooftop, etc. and none of the neighbors will say a thing. Why not? Well, I've been trying to figure that one out too, but I think it's a mixture of most people's super-high threshold and acceptance of noise and general loudness, the above-mentioned non-confrontational nature of the general populace, and a lack of recourse. If you go and talk to the people making noise, they will probably be nice, but will generally look at you like you were some kind of freak. Why? Because, they would be freaked out that someone actually complained. Like I said, people just ride it out here. Most people don't care about noise. The third part is very important as well. There have been parties in my neighborhood until 4, 5, 6, even 7 in the morning. I have never seen the police or anyone else for that matter come and break anything up - it just doesn't happen. I asked some friends about who to call when there's a loud party next door and none of them could tell me. No recourse. If you're a tourist, it's different - You can call the reception desk at a hotel, and they will try to fix the problem, but if you're living here, it's a different story. So, if you're in Mexico, and someone decides to throw a wild, all-nighter of a party... Save yourself the trouble, and don't even try to stop it. Just ride it out calmly like most Mexicans do.
3) Being a pedestrian.
Not having a car and being a pedestrian in Mexico is OK at first, but gets extremely irritating over the course of time. I live in Guadalajara, but I've seen this in other cities around Mexico. At first it's kind of funny how the "pedestrian's right of way" is almost non-existent as a concept, how pedestrians nearly always let cars pass first on a green light before crossing, how little most drivers respect or even see pedestrians, even on pedestrian crossings (sometimes it seems noone even knows what they're for)... After a couple of months, however, the novelty wears off, and (in the big cities anyway) you're just left with a very stressful experience whenever you try to step into an intersection with the simple intent of crossing to the other side. Really, it might seem like an insignificant little detail, but it is really irritating and nerve-racking sometimes. To be fair, some drivers are kind enough to wave you through (when you have the right of way :) Apart from the dangers of crossing a big-city street, one has to remember that being a pedestrian in Mexico involves 2 other "wonderfully colorful" aspects of mexican culture: 1) taking the scarily reckless city buses and 2) taking taxis, which, alas, still often involves haggling and an inevitable attempt to somehow cheat you out of your money.
4) Promiscuity.
Mexico is still a very macho culture. It is also, in my opinion, the most promiscuous culture I have lived in. Some of you may take issue with this, but once again, I'm just speaking from my experience. Most of the people I know here in Mexico are in the 25-35 range, some a bit older. I'm no saint, but I sure seem like one when it comes to most Mexican guys my age. Most of the guys I know have nothing against "cheating" on their wives or girlfriends. The girlfriends/lovers that someone has on the side are discussed openly (amongst friends, not their partners) for the simple reason that cheating is not frowned upon at all. I don't consider my circle of friends to be particularly decadent, or out of the norm, but most guys I know have cheated on their girlfriends and have had absolutely no moral dilemma about this. I know guys that have 3,4 lovers on the side. I think that, as a rule, as far as guys are concerned, screwing around on your partner happens much more often in Mexico, and is accepted to a far greater extent than in other places I have lived. As far as girls are concerned... all I can say is that it takes two to tango. Also, many girls in Mexico try to play themselves off as super-moral (partly because the still predominately macho society imposes this double standard on them - "he can but she can't"), but in reality many who pretend to be the "good-girl" are far from it. Now, I know some very moral people in Mexico, but I'm talking about general trends here, and the general trend among the people I know is as I've described it.
5) Drunk driving
Hey, are you having problems keeping sober? Can't resist that undeniable urge to get behind the wheel after a wild night of drinking? Mexico's the place for you! Sad, I know, but true. Drinking and driving, and I mean getting pissed drunk and then driving, is way too common here. I don't know anyone who doesn't do it. In fact, the 2 things that I have almost never heard here in Mexico are: "I am faithful to my girlfriend" and "I better take a taxi, I'm too drunk". I know it sounds like a bad joke from the 70's but it's the Mexican reality. Are the people I know so damned irresponsible? Well, not in other aspects of their lives, but in this, I would say yes, very irresponsible. Part of the problem lies in the fact that for the most part, you can be pissed drunk, get stopped by the cops, pay them off, and be on your merry way. This is not a myth - it happens every day. Drunk drivers get stopped, pay a nominal amount (sometimes as little as 10 dollars) and are let go, drunk, on their way home. In fact, I've heard stories about how cops would escort the drunk person home, stopping for tacos along the way.
6) Unreliability
this reason i'm not too sure about anymore, - it's an annoyance, but now that i think about it a bit more, i don't think it would constitute a reason not to live in mexico
Promises, promises. Again, I'm going to generalize here a bit, but the generalization is based on repeated experiences. My Mexican friends are good hearted people. They promise a lot of things. "Tomorrow I'll take you to..." "In a couple of weeks let's go to...." etc etc. You tell someone that you really want to do something and inevitably you'll hear an enthusiastic "Let's do it!" Well, many of these promises/plans never come to fruition. Mexicans generally don't want to come off badly, so they'll tell you things that sound good at the moment to make you feel like anything is possible... but the follow through often just isn't there. If someone tells you "I'm going to be there at 7, count on it, you better believe it", there's a good chance they won't be there. They'll tell you they will to not be perceived badly, but when it's crunch time, they'll be absent. Likewise, Mexicans are notorious for giving directions when they don't really know where something is. If you stop someone on the street and ask "Where's Calle ***", a lot of people will give you "directions" even when they don't really know. Again, they don't want to come off badly. What people don't seem to realize is that the disillusionment of realizing that all these promises, directions, etc. were just BS is much more damaging to one's reputation than being honest, even if the truth is dull or disappointing. Something it's best just to keep quiet instead of making someone think they're getting something when in fact they're not.
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